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Nightmare

from Devotionals by Gray Witch

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lyrics

With a pen inside a notebook I wrote, “The end has got to come,” then I used my bad intentions to quench the morning sun. Now I wake up in the afternoon and I'm always bathed in blood. Am I a newborn? Am I a victim? Did I kill something hateful with my love? Or did I strangle something sacred for good luck? Am I just a cosmic spasm? Am I living on my knees? I had a vision, or a nightmare, or just an awful dream, where a mutilated animal laid writhing at my feet. She said, ''You broke my bones, now go break your own,'' and trumpets blared as she died in front of me. Will my back go weak, will I die beneath all this gravity wrongfully given to me? I burned the wood and stayed real warm, and consoled the dirt that sprouted all the trees. I heard a plot discussed so loudly that I had to grit my teeth. They said, “We’ll swallow all your pieces and carry them from sea to shining sea,'' then I woke up in a basement with a polygraph machine. I said, ''I have got some questions, and you had better answer them for me.” With roots deep in a soil that is rich and thick with pain, I will pry open my arid eyes and I will state my case. There are blossoms on the shadows in the desert in my brain where I've moved inside the Devil, and now you'll have to call me by my name. With the moon on top and the sun below will I lay down in this soil and rot alone? With this tongue of gold am I gonna choke on this kingdom made of flames and weathered stone? I was drowning in delusions, I was swimming through deceit, when I saw a population rotting right in front of me, and I looked down on my body, and I was rotting too. Then I was sealed into a catacomb lined with shimmering and decomposing truth where I saw a mirror image of a child with unhinged jaws whose hands tried to write poems, but the pen just scribbled flaws, and then a gasping planet got ground up into dust, and I swore it was a nightmare, but a nightmare goes away when you wake up.

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from Devotionals, released February 24, 2018

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Gray Witch Rockford, Illinois

F. J. Downey is a songwriter from Rockford, Illinois. His band is called Gray Witch. Yes. No. Goodbye.

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